I don't get to choose. I'm in this. And that's what makes me mad, is that all i want is to be heard. For him it's just another one, or another time, but for me this is it. this is where it ends. I don't get to choose. It's not like i haven't been here before. this is time either 3 or 4 i've lost count. But this time, if i let go, i stop breathing. This one has the ability to affect the way I breathe for the rest of my life. this one has the ability to affect the way I sleep for the rest of my life. I'm in this till it's over and it makes me so mad. in 114 days i'll be eighteen years old, and yet, if this doesn't work it will break me.

If you read my first ever blog, you would have read that someone once broke me. i've only ever met two people with the ability to break me, and this is number two.

...and i can't stand the pressure.

The storm is coming but I don't mind.

People are dying, I close my blinds.

All that I know is I'm breathing now.

I want to change the world - Instead I sleep.

I want to believe in more than you and me.

But all that I know is I'm breathing.All I can do is keep breathing.

All we can do is keep breathing. Now...