where does it stop? where do i get to choose? does there come a point when i smile really big and say "i win!!" or do i remain this person forever? in a way i'm grateful, because i was that girl who needed to be reminded, and now i am reminded. so thanks... i think.

i dont like being presented with endless choices, and really isn't that what life is all about? maybe that's why i'm failing at life. i don't want a relationship, i'm not that girl. I'm hurt and broken. I know i'm kinda strange, it's because i've been damaged. You can't see that and keep pushing me. the more you push, the more i back away. yes i'm scared....no i don't need you to save me.

I have beautiful friends, but can i rely on them to save me? are they what i get up for every morning? i can't, i refuse to live through them. i can dance, i can sing...but i dont want you to listen or watch. i can't sleep, because sleeping means dreaming, and dreaming only leads to disappointment. you can't save me... so please don't try--> i have a feeling you'll come back to me... please don't. it's safer with you there and me here. ahh the rantings of an 18 year old.